If you’re dealing with depression, the holidays can be an especially challenging time. It’s no secret that there’s a huge cultural emphasis on joy, togetherness, and celebration – all things that can be pretty difficult to feel when you’re depressed. Not to mention, depression can make you feel isolated, and if you feel like you’re the only one who’s not having a happy holiday, this can intensify these feelings of isolation.
There’s an unspoken pressure to participate in holiday festivities and put on a happy face, and this can feel like a huge emotional burden. Pretending to be happy when you’re not is exhausting.
Here are seven tips for battling depression this holiday season:
1. Be kind to yourself
It’s common for people with depression to beat themselves up and speak unkindly to themselves. This only worsens things, especially with all the pressures of the holiday season.
“Go slow and gentle with yourself,” says Stacy Thiry, a licensed mental health counselor with Grow Therapy. “Set realistic expectations and avoid putting pressure on yourself to make things perfect.”
Practice self-compassion and recognize that what you’re dealing with is really, really difficult. Speak to yourself how you would speak to a loved one from a place of unconditional love and support.
Practice self-compassion and recognize that what you’re dealing with is really, really difficult.
You can practice this by either challenging the negative self-talk as it arises or by intentionally saying positive affirmations to yourself. These are positive statements about yourself that you might need to hear at a given time, such as “I am doing my best” or “People really want me here.”
2. Don’t forget the basics
Depression can make it hard to do even the most simple things, including taking care of yourself. However, it’s important to remember that physical and mental health go hand in hand. Small changes like getting some physical movement in and having a good sleep schedule can make a big difference, says Catherine Del Toro, a licensed mental health counselor with Grow Therapy. For example, even as little as 10 to 15 minutes of exercise can help with depression symptoms.
Also, if you are taking psychiatric medications, make sure to continue to take them as prescribed, says Del Toro. Use a pill organizer or set an alarm on your phone to keep yourself on track if you find that you forget to take your daily dose. It’s also important to continue to eat each of your meals and ensure you are taking care of your personal hygiene, such as showering and brushing your teeth regularly.
3. Give yourself glimmers of hope and joy
Don’t wait for good things to happen – make them happen yourself. “Do the things that inspire glimpses of hope, like treating yourself to hot cocoa, decorating your space, getting outdoors, or connecting with loved ones,” says Del Toro.
Sometimes, the smallest things can bring you a big boost in mood. It’s about finding joy in the little moments, whether it’s the first sip of a delicious drink or the comforting presence of a best friend.
4. Try behavioral activation
It’s important to find a balance between giving yourself grace and pushing yourself to get out there and do things when you’re depressed. A common symptom of depression is lack of motivation, and behavioral activation is a concept that many therapists encourage for people with depression. It’s all about doing stuff that you value, even though you don’t necessarily have the motivation to do it at the moment.
“Remember that you don’t have to feel motivated to do things that will help you feel better, you just have to figure out how to do them,” says Marcia LeBeau, a licensed mental health counselor with Grow Therapy. “It’s not motivation that typically comes before action; it’s action that builds motivation, so doing something is a step in the right direction.” She suggests figuring out what you’re willing to push yourself to do, whether that’s going for a walk, getting coffee with a friend, or even simply taking a shower. Chances are, you’ll feel at least a little bit better afterward.
Remember that you don't have to feel motivated to do things that will help you feel better, you just have to figure out how to do them.
- Marcia LeBeau, LMHC
5. Use your support network
Feelings of loneliness and isolation hit hard when you’re depressed. Social support can make a huge difference when you’re coping with depression, especially if you’ve been isolating yourself for a while and keeping all your feelings in. The holiday season is about connection, and it’s important to remember that the loved ones in your life want to help you. “Reach out for support. Connect with understanding family and friends during this time, and don’t hesitate to talk about your feelings with a professional if needed,” Thiry says.
6. Be aware of crisis resources
People with depression may grapple with thoughts of self-harm or suicide. These thoughts can be scary and extremely difficult to deal with. However, you are never alone. Even on the holidays, there are crisis resources available 24/7. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, or if you feel like you could really use some extra support, you can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting ‘HOME’ to 741741 or you can call or text 988 to get connected to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
7. See a therapist
If depression has taken over your life, making it difficult to do the things you used to once enjoy, consider therapy. Speaking with a trained professional can be immensely helpful. And while we know how difficult it can be to do anything when you’re struggling with depression, we’ve made it as simple as possible to get help. Visit Grow Therapy to find an online therapist who accepts your insurance and specializes in depression.
